When I was growing up, there was a guy in the neighborhood whose
family made him go into the garage every time there was a storm. He
attracted lightning.
You've probably known people who can't wear watches. The watches
start running backwards, or stop and start unpredictably.
I've never been one of those people. Until recently. Lately,
electricity and I don't seem to get along.
I remember looking at old catalogs from the early 1900s. You could
buy all kinds of household appliances that had their own motors.
Later, they had attachments so you could hook up a motor to them.
Finally, appliances just came with power cords, because by then,
there was an electric grid. Electricity had gone from fad to
utility.
I suppose that's kind of like the Internet today, with wireless
processors embedded in everything.
The two trends together are dangerous.
It all started for me when I got notified (via email) that someone
had contacted my credit card company and succeeded in changing the
account's email and billing address. It wasn't me, so I spent a
morning on the phone as they walked me through new security
settings. Then I got a call from someone claiming to be from the
credit card company who wanted to know if I changed the settings
and to what, and suddenly asking a lot of questions without
answering any of mine. Finally, I said I'd better call them back —
and they hung up. When I did phone the company's fraud department,
they said they knew nothing about that call.
Then, on the way to the airport, my wife's mobile phone cut out.
She asked me to plug it into the cigarette lighter. It not only
didn't charge the phone, it short-circuited the car's air
conditioning.
Then the library was moving its servers from the somewhat dicey
power in downtown Castle Rock to a big server farm in Denver
(co-located in Phoenix). But naturally, that meant that our catalog
and other databases went wonky for a few days, to the great
confusion of many of our patrons.
When I got back from my trip, I then tried to cancel that credit
card (which I'd kept restricted but active in case I got stranded).
No problem, they said, but fax in a bunch of stuff to prove you are
who you say you are. Fine, I said.
But could I get a fax machine to work? After repeating the same
steps six times, then watching the machine dial all by itself,
chortling at me I swear, yes.
Then my home Internet went down. I'd reboot everything, and it
would work, kind of, for whole seconds at a time. Then stagger into
partial screen draws.
I've really gotten used to immediate Internet access. My daughter
depends on it for her job (giving international English lessons).
When I called my provider to troubleshoot, the handset died halfway
through the session. Dead battery.
When I got the home network up and running again, my computer's
keyboard would suddenly go mute every now and then, requiring me to
un- and re-plug it.
Don't even get me started about flight attendants who tell you to
turn off your book, which then won't turn on again. I totally
believe in the myth of Atlantis. How could a whole, advanced
civilization just disappear one day, you ask?
Simple. They got everything they needed to do, everything they
needed to know, scrunched into a single, wafer-thin,
electric-powered gizmo. And somebody dropped it, or it went on the
fritz, or, I don't know, it got hit by lightning.
I'll be in the garage.
Jamie LaRue is director of Douglas County Libraries. LaRue's
Views are his own.